G R A N T S H A R K E Y . C O M

ISS: Throne Room

They've opened the windows on NODE 3 on the International Space Station. The view looks like this:

 

As soon as I saw that, I heard this:

 

A wake

I've got a ring-a-ding-ding old school alarm clock. I like it. I can't hear digital alarms enough to wake up, I just incorporate them into my dreams.

The other night I was told the old school alarm clocks can scare you into having a heart attack when you wake up. I shouldn't use it.

Now I'm terrified of being late in the morning.

I don't know who made this. But I love it. (via @BenGammon)

New Desktop Image

This is a picture of the STS-130, the space shuttle Endeavour, taken from the International Space Station as it was coming closer to dock. Both heading towards a sunrise. Simply beautiful.

Follow @Astro_Soichi for more outstanding photography from orbit.

 

My Valentine's Message to you all.

Two years ago today a Burmese freedom fighter was assassinated by agents of the tyrannical Junta. 

I didn't know him, I didn't know at the time that this was going on. I only know because I tell jokes about a girl a met at a festival in Guernsey, she's a Burmese refugee called Zoya Phan. She is the freedom fighter's daughter.

The joke I tell is about how she broke my heart that day by telling a group of strangers about what is going on in her country, about the hardships she and her family faced to get out and the harder task of making the country free again so they can return to a place they call Home. I introduced her to the thousands of people there and stood in the wings as she spoke so eloquently about her people and encouraged the revellers there to chant in unison for the liberation of Burma from the clutches of totalitarianism. I was deeply moved in my heart to fight for the cause, i was also deeply moved in my loins. Because Zoya Phan is HOT! 

That's the joke. She knows about it, she likes it, and we both know that two of us telling people her story is better than one of us. She calls it the 'stiffy joke' because she knows I got a semi on when i gave her a hug on stage at the festival. I'm ok with that.

We had a lot of fun when we saw each other last at the same festival in 2009. I'd been to the US and done the routine for the people in Boston and New York, I've done it at every comedy gig I do and I do it at some Toupe shows. It's it's a fun joke but it's a dynamically tricky joke to pull off because the room goes so silent when I tell the story about Zoya's village being attacked when she was 14 years old, fleeing through the jungle to Thailand and hearing about her father's murder on Valentine's Day 2008 then having to turn it around into a joke (reading the audience to know how far to take it, what language to use - all the time trying to be respectful to Zoya and her family in the back of my head, reminding myself that the message is the reason why I tell the joke at all. 

It might not seem that funny written down here, there are other little jokes at the tail end of it, and a segue or two to move into the next bit etc - so don't judge the joke here. Sometimes it bombs, and that's just as ok, because the story is out there to people who didn't know about Burma in the first place.

And it works, people come out of the shows and they say 'I love that Burma joke' or they mention the next time they see me that all they remember from the whole night was 'The Burma Joke'. I do my best not to jump on the trite response to remind them that it's only half a joke. The Burma part of it definitely isn't a joke. My silly hormones are. 

And when Valentine's Day rolls around I know I've told the joke so much that I can't help but think of Zoya and her family. Knowing there is a group of amazing people out there who are remembering their father, another amazing person - who did nothing more than stand up for what is right and peaceful. 

Zoya Phan is remarkable woman - she travels the world, meets the Dalai Lama and Presidents and Kings and Queens. She has set up a foundation in memory of her father to unsure the fight against the military regime is just and true. She is a Fellow of T.E.D. and gets to meet her mind with the greatest thinkers in the free world. And one day, she said she'll cook me Monkey Shit. 

Happy Valentine's people. Free Burma. Spread a little love.

 

STATEMENT FROM THE PHAN FOUNDATION 

Sunday 14th February 2010 

Statement from the children of Padoh Mahn Sha Lah Phan on second anniversary of his assassination 

It is now two years since our father was killed by agents of the Burmese military dictatorship, and still we miss him every day. 

We thank all the people around the world who have given us their support, and who miss our father as we do. 

Our father dreamed of and worked hard for unity among the Karen people. Divisions between the Karen people broke his heart. They also enabled the dictatorship to assassinate him. As a divided people we are weaker, and only the Burma Army benefits. 

When our father was killed we called on those Karen people who had left the Karen National Union to come back to us. Today, as Karen people face more challenges than ever, we repeat that call. 

The dictatorship is now bringing in a new constitution that is a death sentence for ethnic diversity in Burma. It will lead to the end of our dreams of a state where we can be free to be Karen, without fear of attack, oppression or discrimination. The Burma Army has also launched a new military offensive forcing thousands more Karen people to flee for their lives. 

Only as a united people can we overcome these challenges and protect our people. Only united can we win our freedom. 

Our father often said; “Freedom will not be given to us, we will have to work for it.” We call on all Karen people and all the people of Burma to join our struggle for freedom. Only by all working together, regardless of ethnicity, will we win our freedom. 

We pay tribute to all those who work so tirelessly to help the people, from teachers and community workers, to political leaders and grassroots activists. Every action taken brings us a step closer to freedom. 

In 2008 we set up the Phan Foundation, in memory of our father and our mother, Nant Kyin Shwe. It has four objectives: 

• To alleviate poverty 
• To provide education 
• To promote human rights 
• To protect Karen culture 

For the Karen people of Burma. 

The Phan Foundation is one is one of the ways that we continue the work of our parents. You can support the work of the Phan Foundation at: www.phanfoundation.org. 

 

The Ecstatic Ex-Koi

Susan Phillips (@susan_phillips_ aka Shop Monkey) got a few commissions on the back of a brilliant wolf painting she did earlier this month. One of the new commissions is to interpret an old Chinese/Japanese saying about how the Koi who climbs up the waterfall will be rewarded with becoming a dragon at the top. To help Shop Monkey out, I drew what she SHOULDN'T do.

The Hive Mind (Part #2)

Reviewing the stats on my site I see I get a lot of google hits from people typing in 'the hive mind' - they all seem to be from France, so I thought i'd see what the French are up to (someone has to) and typed the same words in to Google. 

I don't think I found what the French were looking for (another day, I'll catch them in the act!) but i did find this:

http://hivemindmovie.com/

Think I have to order it now! :)

Showing and not telling.

Tonight it all went to plan. I had a nap and got up about 23.30 to get some writing done tonight. The thing I'm working on at the moment is a screenplay - it's going well. Plot and characters have been there for a while. The story is a little linear at the moment, but that's part of the first draft for me. Just get it down and tell it. 

After so long working on books it's nice to work on a screenplay again. It's nice to just think visually about everything. Reactions that say enough to delete 7 lines of dialogue. Thinking about the symmetry of scenes and the little things that bring a whole character's life on to a screen.

Showing and not telling is something we try and re-iterate in the writer's group at the bookshop. Painting the scene rather than describing the picture etc. It's a lot of fun to work on. 

There's a massive difference between:

    The platoon grew weary. The thought of being captured by the Nazis began to lighten as the stench     from Mason's 'war cry' got thicker and heavier in the heat.

and:

    The shit in Mason's pants was getting worse.

The story I have is visual, so that part is coming out on it's own, but even so the characters need to be established early on to avoid a clunky beginning. The pictures of people who call on a mobile phone giving the viewer insight into the caller, the relationship between the two and the sort of person who enjoys those sort of pictures popping up when someone calls. All in a two second shot you can say all of that with nothing but a ringtone and phone. 

What got me thinking about all this again recently is the very cool sizzle reel for Slingers. I was made aware of it by Steve Lawson (@solobasssteve) who's somehow in the know about everything cool that happens all the time. 

Slingers is a TV show that's currently in the pitching stage to US networks, but made here in the UK by @Sleepydog and written by @sizemore. The sizzle reel was made as a way of gaining support for the show and to help the pitching process. 

In under three minutes it's imperative to get as much across to the audience (and Network bosses) as possible. Every word, every shot. Every penny going on to the screen and not into a trailer parked outside the studio. 

And this really pulls it off. 

If you wrote down everything you learn from this 3 mins of video, i bet you it would be 6 pages long. :)

Excellent.

Watching the Space Shuttle Endeavour dock with the International Space Station live on NASA TV at 3.47am.

It's everything great about watching the in flight screens that tell you the course, air speed, land speed etc. of your flight when you're flying somewhere you really want to be.

The commentary is slow and considered, if a little sterile. The Comms from the crew in STS-130 and Houston is without drama or even excitement.

Thinking about the three dimensions they're working in to manoeuvre the two docking hatches and the miniscule precision at the end of thousands and thousands of miles.

It's the most over analysed, introspective, clinical, unexciting kiss happening right over our heads.

The most beautiful kiss you're lucky enough to see.



(I'm not drunk...just got a super-horn for space)

Mental Health Mentality

Guy who tried to kill the Pope John Paul II is released from jail today. Claiming to be Christ Eternal and declaring the end of the world etc. Some people are questioning his mental health. No, shit. 

Pat Robertson declares that the Haiti Earthquake was a result of the Haitian's pact with the devil 220 years ago to oust the French. Has his own TV evangelist network, everyone seems to forget that he's one of the furthest people from God that anyone knows.

Catholic church in general silently or blatantly support the Vatican's teaching Africa that condoms actually facilitate the spread of AIDS and shouldn't be worn. Punishment: Gold and a billion strong army of believers. 

Danny Glover attributes the Haiti Earthquake to Global Warming. 

Girl who attacked the Pope on Christmas Eve - declared mentally ill immediately after the attack. 

Christmas Day - a young man tries to blow up his homemade explodorizing underpants on a plane bound to Detroit. 

Alistair Campbell gives slick and greasy evidence to Iraq Enquiry.  

The CREDIT CRUNCH and the bankers.

If you're feeling the strain...

http://www.mind.org.uk/